The life i live...

The life I live... I tell you something, it takes a freakin soldier to live the life i live. I was feeling like i needed a drink, so i retreated to my sancuary, also known as the bar. Recently i had noticed that this broad has been hanging around more so than usual. Lefty told me that she was a dancin chick that went by the name of Rosie...or M. Rose. It didnt matter, i never used strippers real names anyway. The stage names were so much more appetizing. Lets be serious, would you rather throw money at Melinda, or Tasty Toya? For me that was something exotic and was definitely a turn on. I figured that i would grace her with some conversation and then make a proposal. I had a good feeling that she could make a lot of money for herself and me (mainly me) if i put her to work. Over the course of my lifetime i had made the proposition so many different times, that by now i had it down to a science. Its really pretty simple. Its all about the dough. Just tell the chick about the non-taxed oodles of money that they would be raking in, and the rest is history. She did the whole "hard-to-get" bit and told me to leave my number and she would contact me after she was able to sit down and think about the offer. Said she had a friend named Chloe that she used to go to school with that she had to discuss the matter with. She told me Chloe was always the one with the better judgement; Uptight even, but friends are friends just the same. Apparently this decision was "too important to answer on the spot." I had heard it all before. I knew she was hooked.

Just as the converstaion was coming to a close, Lefty walked in with an ice cream sandwhich. What the hell kinda mobster eats freaking ice cream sandwhiches!?! He told me he was about to come into the bar when the ice cream came rolling through, with a strong following of overly anxious grade school student. He looks at me and tells me, "Who can resist an ice cream sandwhich?" Can you believe this shmuck!?! Lefty had to have been the meanest ice cream sandwhich eating Italian on the entire east coast. The life i live...you couldnt make this shit up if you tried.